Every time I have to fill in one of those "Author Bio" sections when listing my novel on the various book sites, I feel utterly foolish. Isn't there a chance that readers might like my book better if they didn't know too much about my writing experience? Specifically, wouldn't a fan of YA books rather not know that I was an English teacher? Wouldn't they be better off not knowing that my previous work was writing content (sample essays, revisions, and writing advice) for a software company? Will they be impressed by my stellar teacher-test scores? I know I am, but will they care? I doubt it. My author bio is not cool. I put all the cool stuff in the novel, so can't I just leave it blank?
Maybe I should discuss my other creative works -- Modern Persecution (the play; the screenplay) that are in my office gathering dust -- unpublished and untested -- or the novel I wrote as a teenager following the death of my parents (that work is reasonably well written but it was more about personal catharsis and development than page turning). I can take my cue from J.K. Rowling and discuss my childhood writing efforts (she wrote about a bunny; I wrote about a thunderstorm).
I know I'm contradicting myself, of course, because here I am writing a blog revealing "...all the stupid things I've done during the day. And all the hours in between when I do all those stupid things..." (You're A Good Man Charlie Brown by Clark Gesner, from the comic strip by Charles Schultz). (Charles went to high school with my dad, by the way). Part of me would like to be more like Sean Penn. About a million years ago, he did a film (which I love) called Racing with the Moon. He wanted his character to be... pure, so he refused to do publicity for the film. He didn't want the actor, Sean, to get in the way of the character, Hopper. The result was not great for the fate of the film; his character remained pure, but no one saw the film. I only saw it on VHS when a high school friend of mine (a guy who was pretty much the real life embodiment of Hopper) insisted I see it. Elizabeth McGovern was in the film. I think she learned a lot (Kids, good writers don't use "a lot") about the value of publicity and perhaps the better lesson -- never take advice (or get romantically involved with) Sean Penn.
Sean is pretty cool, though, isn't he? Even now that he's old (fragment!). Maybe in my next life I could be cool like that. Not this one. And that's part of the problem with those author bios. I'm not Sean Penn.
Maybe I should discuss my other creative works -- Modern Persecution (the play; the screenplay) that are in my office gathering dust -- unpublished and untested -- or the novel I wrote as a teenager following the death of my parents (that work is reasonably well written but it was more about personal catharsis and development than page turning). I can take my cue from J.K. Rowling and discuss my childhood writing efforts (she wrote about a bunny; I wrote about a thunderstorm).
I know I'm contradicting myself, of course, because here I am writing a blog revealing "...all the stupid things I've done during the day. And all the hours in between when I do all those stupid things..." (You're A Good Man Charlie Brown by Clark Gesner, from the comic strip by Charles Schultz). (Charles went to high school with my dad, by the way). Part of me would like to be more like Sean Penn. About a million years ago, he did a film (which I love) called Racing with the Moon. He wanted his character to be... pure, so he refused to do publicity for the film. He didn't want the actor, Sean, to get in the way of the character, Hopper. The result was not great for the fate of the film; his character remained pure, but no one saw the film. I only saw it on VHS when a high school friend of mine (a guy who was pretty much the real life embodiment of Hopper) insisted I see it. Elizabeth McGovern was in the film. I think she learned a lot (Kids, good writers don't use "a lot") about the value of publicity and perhaps the better lesson -- never take advice (or get romantically involved with) Sean Penn.
Sean is pretty cool, though, isn't he? Even now that he's old (fragment!). Maybe in my next life I could be cool like that. Not this one. And that's part of the problem with those author bios. I'm not Sean Penn.
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