Sometimes, I want to express myself on Facebook. That is where people I know wander around social media.  There's is a part of me that really despises Facebook, because it is a public "face" and not a place for me to express deep stuff, and if I do, I feel like an idiot.

This is a good place, I think, because it's relatively anonymous.

So I'll take the chance that it's a safer place to express deep thoughts even though I know it's public. If I did it in a private journal, and I thought there would be no chance of any other human being out there in the world ever reading it, it wouldn't work for me. I've got to believe that someone might read it.

Anyway -- so here goes: I've been coughing every day since late June (maybe it was early July) and that has taken away nearly all of my happiness. I am completely alone in this. I am not myself any more. I dread getting up and facing each day because I am tired. The doctors found three little spots in my lungs, but they don't even know if they are causing the cough, and they wouldn't go in and pull them out anyway.  And I have no boar jerky.

"Life is shit. It's that way for everyone. There's only one thing that makes it better. Boar...jerky." (Chick Hogan)

PS I want to wipe every picture of myself off the Internet.