...Thanks to the genetic hand I have been dealt, I have come to the realization that I can no longer eat simple carbohydrates -- AT ALL -- unless I want to be shopping in the "Woman's" department (which as cool as that might be for some people -- I just don't have the confidence to pull it off). So, my carbs are between 20 - 40 grams, and the carbs I do get are from healthy, nutritional sources.

One of the benefits simple carbs used to offer me is the release of chemicals in the brain that release serotonin.  This stuff -- 5-hydroxyltryptamine (5-HT) -- makes me feel calmer, happier, like life is good!  So, I need to give up the carbs without giving up the serotonin and this is where Vera Farmiga comes in. No judgments, now, I know I'm crazy (think about the line from Elf now) in a GOOD way.

Now let me preface this by saying that I love my husband and I'm attracted to my husband and as far as I know all signs point to me being straight. I do, however, love Vera Farmiga from afar.  So I have discovered that when I look at her photograph, view her films, look into her eyes, and especially hear her voice, I get a serotonin release. So, thanks to her existence and her career, I can stay off the carbs.

Now, this intense actress-girl-love is not a new thing for me.  It started with Judy Garland.  At about the age of six, I decided that I loved her and I would be her. (I didn't understand acting, so I thought of her as "Dorothy").  I thought about her, looked at her picture, played her album at every spare moment, and because when you are six you can be whatever and whomever you want to be, I told every new acquaintance that my name was Dorothy. That finally stopped when I got busted.  A new neighbor moved in; I told her that my name was Dorothy and that my little dog, was named "Toto."  This lady had a coffee klatsch with our next door neighbor who clued her in that my name was Jennifer and that the dog's name was "Gidget." 

It's hard to believe, but my old neighbor (now in her 80s) still remembers it and brought it up on her daughter's FB page recently! After that, I kept my passions a bit more to myself. Here's my list of celebrity loves:

Judy Garland
Carrie Fisher
Sherilyn Wolter (my college age General Hospital period)
Finola Hughes  (more college age General Hospital)
Isabella Rossellini
a little bit Jane Seymour
And now, the best of all of them, Vera Farmiga. (officially announced on this blog in April of 2014)

So, I've managed to accomplish things and hold a job and get married and have a family even with this little crazy side of me.  And I need the serotonin, so it's just another reason why crazy can be good.

Thank you, Vera.

Love,

Jen