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Thoughts After Midnight

3/28/2014

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I have a new TV girlfriend. It is such a nice feeling to admire someone again. People who know me well know that I have these fantasy boyfriends and/or girlfriends who are usually television and film actors and sometimes authors who I fall in love with to a certain extent. With the women, it's not that I'm thinking about kissing them or anything like that -- I just admire them and enjoy looking at them. With the men, it is also rarely a sexual fantasy that plays out in my head (with a few notable exceptions). I tend to admire people and put them on a pedestal, because I think some people actually are worthy of admiration.

Here is a list of some of my celebrity boyfriends starting with Randolph Mantooth at age seven (my first):  Russell Johnson (the professor from Gilligan's Island) (at the age of eight or so I had this running fantasy about the professor finally realizing that Marianne was perfect for him), Robert Wagner, Paul Simon, Andy Garcia, Phil Hartman, Kevin Spacey, Gary Sinise, John Steinbeck (authors don't usually count, but in Steinbeck's case, I really felt like I knew and loved him), Joe Lando and a few others that I am now embarrassed to mention. Currently, I have no celebrity boyfriend, but I am kind of digging author Frank Bruni who wrote Born Round: The Secret History of a Full-time Eater because it is nice to know that there is at least one other intelligent person out there who had a completely bonkers relationship to food... like... I... did.......do.

My celebrity girlfriends include: Judy Garland, Carrie Fisher, Isabella Rossellini, Sherilyn Wolter, Finola Hughes, Jane Seymour, and my newest addition, Vera Farmiga. I started with Judy Garland -- really with Dorothy Gale -- at the age of five or six. It was during that time that any stranger who asked my name got the sincere answer, "Dorothy." Then the Star Wars geek in me took on Carrie Fisher -- I admired her for adolescent reasons; now I admire her strength and wit. Isabella Rossellini was someone who I identified with. Why, I'm not sure. I just felt that we were similar people on some astral plane somewhere. Then came my soapy period. Then Jane (which has quite a lot to do with her beauty). And finally, Vera Farmiga who I think is absolutely brilliant in her role as Norman's mother in Bates Motel. She is lovable and hate-able and believable all at once. When I was in acting school, I longed for a part like Margaret Hoolihan in MASH. If I were still acting, Norma Bates would be the coveted role.

Though I very much love my flesh and blood family, I do enjoy my TV boyfriends and girlfriends. And I'm on the lookout for a new TV boyfriend so if you have any recommendations, feel free. Maybe I should go with a younger guy this time instead of the "dad" type?


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The Killing (the TV show )

3/21/2014

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WARNING: Spoilers for Broadchurch and The Killing are contained in this article. Unlike many in the world of writers, I don't spend more time reading than watching TV.  I do read and become deeply involved with the lives of literary characters, but when I'm tired in the evening, TV IS FOR ME! I'm not looking for elements to criticize, either. (I can't stand watching TV with a critic; as much as possible, my goal is to overlook inconsistencies and lose myself in a story). I'm always hoping for a narrative to take me safely to another world, and for me to love it, it has to have a dark element. So many critics have said that The Killing is pretentious, but I think they are just striving to be the best. It's slow paced and I like that too. If I care about the characters, I want it to stretch out and provide me with quiet, slow moments. Okay, I do admit to sleeping through some of it, but sometimes it's nice to sleep through something and know I haven't missed too much. (I'm digging myself, deeper and deeper here, aren't I)?

My husband asked me why I'm so attracted to dark themes (with the subtext, I think, "What's wrong with you?). I did give it some thought, and I don't think I'm as disturbed as my Netflix cue might indicate. I would refer the reader back to my essay about Breaking Bad and Dexter and why I like Dexter so much more. Within the dark themes of my favorite shows there must always be a hero or heroes who are fighting for good (even if they are deeply flawed).  My heart is with Jesse in Breaking Bad.  My heart is with Holder and Linden in The Killing. My heart is with with Dexter (especially when he struggles so much with his identity and perception of himself as a "monster").  That can't be all bad, can it?  It's not like I'm reading Harry Potter and voting for Voldemort.

Because
I am always contradicting myself (in my defense, who doesn't?) this paragraph is going to include a criticism of Season 3 of The Killing. Many perceived flaws in the writing have been pointed out by other writers, but there is only one problem that really irks me: I feel like we barely knew this guy, Skinner. He was there, of course, and established as Linden's former lover. The relationship, I think, makes sense even though she is adorable and he was rather old and bald. Women who are missing a father figure in their lives often seek the "dad" type. The problem boils down to the same element that often makes or breaks a story. We don't care about him. Linden did, but the audience didn't know him well enough to be really shocked and appalled when he was revealed as the killer. The depth of betrayal would have been felt by the audience if we believed that we knew and cared about him.

For those of you who viewed Broadchurch, the same criticism could be made, but it didn't matter as much because the effect of the killer's identity was all about the people who revolved around him. We saw deep agony and unthinkable position of the killer's wife. The Killing ended abruptly, and the depth of the relationship between Skinner and Linden was not well established.

Whatever its weaknesses, I am so pleased that the show was picked up for another season, and I can't wait to see Holder and Linden move on from this point
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Dexter or Breaking Bad?                   (Obviously, there will spoilers here)

1/5/2014

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My husband enjoys Breaking Bad. I enjoy (this is an understatement) Dexter.  Now, I know these shows are past tense, but not for me. I do not have Showtime, so I've been waiting for Santa to bring Dexter to me. He didn't, but Mr. Netflix did, so I'm finally on the last season. We were late in coming to Breaking Bad (well, honestly, I had watched it once and decided it was not for me). Now we are watching both. I wouldn't watch Breaking Bad if Jim were not interested, and Jim only watches Dexter on occasion.

The other day, we had a discussion about the moral depth of the characters on
each show. Personally, I find Breaking Bad to be far more depressing and disturbing than Dexter because I see very little conscience in any of the characters. Granted, Walter White may feel guilt when he realizes that he is the indirect cause of the death of an entire plane load of people, and he may say something to the effect of, "I'm not cut out to be the bad guy," yet time and time again he pushes conscience aside and embraces increasingly brutal behavior. Jessie struggles with conscience, and we as an audience see opportunities for his escape. (Jessie's character forced me to face that I think like a mom now, because I feel something akin to a mother's grief with each poor choices he makes). The parade of characters in the drug world range from psychopathic to criminally stupid. I'm only on Season 4, Episode 9, so I'm obviously coming from a place of incomplete knowledge. I don't know how corruptible his family will be, and I don't know the future of the DEA brother in law (who I find to be mostly sympathetic).  My perception at this point, though, is that the majority of the viewing minutes are filled with scenes of soulless scheming, plotting, concealing, and brutal violence.  I see less moral struggle and vulnerability than I do with Dexter.

With Dexter, we are regularly reminded of Dexter's conflict.  We can see this good, nerdy guy who would be only that if he hadn't been so deeply traumatized as a child. With Debra, we see a woman attempting to please a deceased Daddy, struggling to connect with her brother, and making all kinds of stupid choices (usually brought about by her big, dumb heart). When her loyalty to her brother leads her to become a murderer, she does not just suffer a few bad days and move on. The pain nearly destroys her, and when she does manage to come out the other side of it she is forever damaged. We sense that she will carry her guilt with her forever and devote the rest of her life to righting her wrongs -- but it will never be enough for her to forgive herself. Other characters: Quinn, LaGuerta, Doakes, Batista, Rita, etc. have their flaws but to me, they are also fundamentally good people. The various bad guys that move into Dexter's life (and out via his table) are on a spectrum from completely antisocial to deeply conflicted and disturbed.

So, my opinion is that majority of characters in Dexter are people with spiritual dimension (souls?) and the dishonorable or even evil choices they make are not borne of an antisocial personality.  Breaking Bad has far too many people who are seem to have perverse, easily corruptible souls, and it is difficult to care about them. I care about Walter White Jr., Hank, and Jesse (in the aforementioned grieving mom style), but if my husband were not watching it, I wouldn't have gotten past the first few episodes (if that).

On the other hand, I am deeply devoted to the characters in Dexter.  I felt the effects of Rita's death days after I viewed it. My heart broke for Dexter when Lumen dumped him. Every time I look at Angel I feel that I have a friend in the room. And I even cried with dumb Debra when Lundy died.  I do not want to live in Dexter's complex, messy world, but I would much rather move to Miami than live in Walter's perverted, savage world.

My husband's opinion is that the psychopathic characters portrayed on Dexter are worse because they kill for the sake of killing -- for the urge of seeing the body mutilated and damaged.
In Walter White's world it is about profit -- or at least that is the excuse.

Perhaps I'll change my attitude about all of this when I have finished Breaking Bad. If I do, I will dutifully update my opinions as soon as possible. I am very curious about the thoughts that others have on this discussion. I see that I can create a survey here.  If you get this far, please try the survey!  I would love to hear the opinions of other viewers on this subject.


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