
But I digress...
Again...
The point to this blog (gag) is something I heard on public radio (gag). You know, I just love public radio, even as the world news tortures me. This was the show Radiolab, and what really got my attention was the opening of the show, rather than the intended theme. The question author Eugene Thacker (In the Dust of this Planet) was answering for himself was whether he should still write the books he felt compelled to write if he knew no one would read them. And I've already given away the answer with the word, "compelled." Of course he would write them. I feel the same way. Writers are a dime a dozen. We were born with this internal drive to put fun house mirror reflections of ourselves out to the world. It might be fun if these creations made money or if people actually read them, but ultimately that is not the reason they exist. If the end goal of money and readers was the only motivator, there wouldn't be much (if any) high quality texts out there.
I like to write. When I come back to read and revise, I'm usually pleased with what I have done. Now that Dark Corner is out there in book form, I feel embarrassed about it for some reason. I'm sure that if I read it again I'd be pleased with it. It became just the sort of fun that I wanted it to be. I loved reading books in that same style when I was a child, so I do admit to liking my own story. I think it is the innocence of it in this cynical world that embarrasses me, but I write for myself. I really do.
That doesn't mean I would turn down financial success if it came my way. Being firmly part of "the other 98 percent" money would be a miracle. But if it means I have to stop writing and put a bunch of time, effort and money into marketing, I would just prefer to write my books and let them float out there in the unknown. Now if I had a prayer or spell, I would just create time to write, because 4:00AM is not ideal.