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Stream of Consciousness #3

4/8/2020

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I've been back to working 8 or so hours a day. I forgot all about this stream of consciousness idea until I came back here and looked. It is a decent tool and it did get my writing again. Problem is these rejections - man oh man oh man -- I wonder my Harvard Prof was so sure I'd rise above the slush piles. Maybe she meant rise above the slush piles like The Great Pumpkin rises up over a sincere pumpkin patch.

One thing that surprises me about myself -- collecting these rejection from these agents is much more difficult than I imagined. Each one that comes in tears out a little piece of me even though I KNEW that this is part of the package.

What is worse is that I'm so weak that it makes me want to stop writing.

It doesn't make me want to follow a formula. I know my writing may not be easily pigeon-holed and most agents will advise writers that they must meet this, that, and the other parameters. I feel that this is sad -- the way it is today (and maybe has been forever in one way or another) -- because I don't believe the greatest minds will fit those parameters. And the greatest works of art will definitely be overlooked because the writer is new and stubborn and won't follow the word count or genre norms or whatever.

By no means am I saying that my series is a great work. It's just a fun, scary, intense, occult series for kids that would definitely upset the Christian right (and perhaps the middle too).

Maybe I've made a mistake here trying to run with the big dogs.

I'm definitely a little, weird dog with a few autoimmune diseases.
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