I'm relieved, of course. The more I think about it and what I would be facing with MS the more relieved I feel.
I am now, however, back in the same stupid boat. I have no diagnosis. No reason for my cough. And now I may lose my mind (I think I already have) and have a stroke or several.
In spite of my low blood pressure I guess I'll start some baby aspirin. What else is there to do?
You know how most people just hate that "everything happens for a reason" stuff? Well, I did learn something from all this. I believe it's going to change my life for the better. I've learned that I'm not going to continue on living in a way that makes me miserable. I do care how my decisions affect others, but I won't sacrifice myself for them anymore. And I won't spend another moment with other human beings who cannot see me for who I am... not another moment.
All I know is that I have this one life to live at least for now, and I'm not going to live it the way I did before. I'm done tolerating misery and praying for it to get better. I'll make it better. Period.
And I'm getting a lot less worried about how other people deal with what I need.
I am not as angry today, yet it wasn't pleasant. I wouldn't want to live through a repeat.