Wicked Writer
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March 26th, 2020

3/26/2020

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Vincent Van Gogh.
I have twenty-six drafts just waiting for me to hit the publish button, but I'll never do it. I write here even more often but because it is not a typical author blog and it is well-named as a Self Indulgent Online Journal I will often write and erase or never publish because I am better off not putting every inane thought I have out for the world to see.

This is a time of coronavirus.

This has given me more time to utilize my creative energy; sadly it has robbed me of it too. I have no heart to do much of anything other than watch CNN and try to gently and diplomatically encourage idiots that they are wrong about coronavirus. I won't get into it, but let's just say that it has to do with coworkers and friends who use the Appeal to Hypocrisy argument to diminish the seriousness of this pandemic. I've also had a friend send me a supposed cure. I am disheartened.

I have learned how many people are gullible and have never learned to look at statistics and studies for (often surprising) sources of bias. Thank you The New School in NYC and Prof Hirst for teaching me. Education is brilliant. Intelligence without education can lead to very smart people coming up with some very stupid ideas.

So I would like to write some beautiful, painful, and angry poetry. I would like to work on my book. I can feel my lovely little girl character waiting for me as if on pause. But I don't even want to try. I just want to yell. I want to express how very powerless I feel. I would like to be like Ricky Gervais and just say the most offensive, biting, awful things I can think of.

So many things are bothering me right now. I think I need to just do a stream-of-consciousness series. Then, perhaps it will be time to get back to Cult Following and my lovely little character, Madeline Winter. I can feel her hovering around me as if she's real. Maybe she is. A ghost? A spirit? A Jungian thought form?

By the way, the more I keep that Far Side style portrait up, the more I actually look like her.

images.app.goo.gl/ouhV1TWpZLFNbGa29

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