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and Nonsense and Monsters and Eyeballs

4/17/2018

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Picture


That Vera-esque eyeball is painted right on that pumpkin seed! It's by Salavat Fidai whose artistic career was borne out of losing his job. Could that work for me?
 
I have not been back here for awhile because my seed had been sprouting and I'd been so, so busy with great plans. But then they all "fell to shit" (as Norman might say), so here I am in my favorite place to whine. Sorry. I titled this something about self-destruction, and I don't even have the energy to write about it. And I'm too embarrassed to reveal what I have been planning and thinking about which fell apart. Of course it fell apart. "Some folks lives, roll easy as a breeze." (Paul Simon)

Is there no redeeming value in just giving up? Don't bother exercising, trying to make life better, trying to achieve? How would my life be different if I had no goals? It might be better. I could just rest more.

What if I just lived in a little town and spent my every spare moment drinking in a bar?

1. Academy Award
2. Tons of money
3. 821
4. Country
5. Beauty
6. Genius (recognized and rewarded)
7. Admiration
8. Even-temper
9. Success all around (family)
10. Health
11. Good King Midas
12. Rest
13. Spirit
14. Love
15. Popular

22 days of meditation with Oprah and Deepak revealed in him a vicious, internal monster who wants him dead.

It's just waiting for a chance to take over. More evil than the grammar police. The intensity of its hatred is beyond logic. WTF? The second he lost focus, it lashed out and robbed him.

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